Shut up Stein Side(arm) Stories - Part 1: A rating system that will work (if you let it)

Remember when I used to bang my head against the wall trying to desperately stop the collapse of fast pitch wiffs? You ever stop and think, "wtf does this idiot even know about wiffs?" Ever thnk, "I'd love to hear what this douchebag has to offer." Okay, probably not, but here it is anyway. Welcome to Side(arm) Stories. These 5-10 minute segments are for ANYONE who has ANYTHING to say about wiffs, but perhaps may not want to come on an episode for reasons that are...well...probably related to me being simply awful. Here's my proposal for a rating system. It's full proof with no loopholes. I dare you to find one thing wrong with it. You can't can you? Thats cause I'm best in goyme and you STOINK